Random thoughts

We don't talk much, he doesn't say anything in the morning. He gets to work and no longer calls at lunch. I miss the way things were before. The wedding and reception was a hoax. We really aren't that together. Today I feel alone as usual. I cooked even though Sam and I had already eaten. He doesn't reach out for me anymore. It's only been three month. What am I going to do? The bus is working. The schedule is great. I drive a lot more but it gives me time to myself. I wanted a best friend other than Danika when I got married but I should have know that getting married would not necessarily make us better friends. I never liked talking on the phone to him before because he never had anything to say. What made me think things would be even a little different. Now we just sit in silence in the house. I don't even want to mention sex because what sex?!?!? I could blame that on myself but I still haven't mastered the pep talk my mother in law gave me. "All you gotta do is keep the house clean, kids together and give em some and everything will be cool." Well if I am doing all that then WTF is he doing? I can't not talk to you all day and then go to bed and be a freak. (yes I am a freak or at least I was when I was actin a darn fool) Now I am married and can be a legal freak and that is just not happening. Kids, I don't want anymore. I am happy with Sam and Sam only. Lord help us all if I get pregnant before the good Lord changes my mind. Jake says football is better than diamond rings. Well, it is football season and it must be better than family and everything else in life. He cany't even get his studing done because he has to have the remote and turn to every channel for football. And yes that includes college as well. It is going to be a long season. I am not looking forward to actually living with him during the season. He was always at my mom's house when he was watching the games but at least on Saturday's I told him not to come over if he was just going to watch football all day and at least my mom was there for me to talk to. Lord help me. Oh I like the game but I don't idolize it. Sam and I are just going to have to find other things to occupy our time.