Am I the only mom that feels like everything I do doesn't matter? We go to work and cook and clean and drive the kids everywhere they need to go with not such much as a thank you. Some husbands appreciate all the running around that their wives do but many don't. My husband chooses and has always chosen to tell a friend or family member about how hard I work or my accomplishments but can't seem to tell me unless it is through a hallmark card on my birthday. Last night my brother in law tells me that Sam has soccer camp all week and has to be there by 5:30 everyday. He sits and tries to think of how I am going to make it work getting him there on time and Jake sits there watching a movie like, "this doesn't concern me shell figure it out." when I ask him about it he says oh can't you just get to work early and leave early? I was incensed with that suggestion so I went upstairs to go to bed. I am already taking a half day today because Sam has a doctors appointment that could only be scheduled on a Thursday. I have to take the entire day of July 15th because he has an appointment at nine and one at three. Did Jake volunteer to take him on any of those days? HELL NO!! Jake has off tomorrow when nothing is going on and he can just take a vacation day. He has to take the car to the dealership to look at the breaks and if I bring it up that will be his excuse even though he could take it on Saturday. He takes all his days off and does nothing but sleep. He doesn't cook dinner or clean a damn thing. Why is it when we take a day off we clean and cook a nice meal, throw clothes in the laundry and file shit away? Then you realize you have been working all day on your day off. I tried to take off last Friday and sneak to the beach and couldn't even do that because camp did not start yet and my brother in law could not babysit. Did I mention he is living with us this summer and probably will every summer until he graduates college? At first it bothered me but he us the only one who helps out without being asked. Yeah he leaves the tv on all night and steals my deodorant and Vaseline off my dresser and doesn't return it until I pitch a fit but at least he does mostly everything I ask him to do and he helps with taking Sam to practice sometimes. The crazy thing is Jake seems to have a problem with him helping me out. Like I am not ever supposed to work late of do anything for myself. When I told Jake how I felt yesterday of course he had nothing to say.
On top of everything I feel at home I am broke and Jake doesn't even care. I am paying off my credit cards and don't have the extra cash like I used to. He has extra money and won't even buy Sam a much needed new pair of running shoes. I am really trying my best but it doesn't quite seem to make any difference. I want more for myself but don't know how to get it. My girl asked me to go to Zumba classes with her on Wednesdays but that is soccer day and I can't make it. Sam has some kind of practice 4days per week and has track on Saturdays and Soccer on Sundays. Friday after work is the only day I may be able to do something for myself but I still have to pick Sam up from camp/school and figure out what he is going to eat etc. etc. Then Jake gets home and always says "What do you want to do about dinner." If he gets home before me he asks that question and if he gets home and I haven't started cooking yet he asks the same damn question.
Jake would tell you that he doesn't do anything for himself either. He goes to work and comes home and that is it. But he doesn't want to do anything for himself. He likes coming home and doing nothing, which as far as I am concerned means doing nothing is doing something for yourself. On his days off he says he has a right to sleep all day and do nothing because it is his day off and on Saturdays when Sam does not have a game it is ok for him to sleep until noon and not do any house work until he feels like it. I would say that means he is doing a whole hell of a lot for himself. We used to go to the club dancing and dinner and hang out but we don't even really get to do too much of that anymore. My best friend lives in North Carolina so I cant go over her house just to get away and my other three girlfriends are pregnant and hot so it is not like we can go to a lounge and get a drink. I dread going home after work because there is no one to talk to and even though I get along swell with my bro in law, I can't talk his head off because he is only 19yrs old and it would be inappropriate. It is bad enough that half the time Jake has no idea what we are talking about and we have no intention on filling him in so he can ask a bunch of dumb ass questions and make the conversation not worth having anymore.
I guess I am going on and on but my point is, that it sucks that I run around like a dog and never get a thank you or a flower or a "I'll do that dear don't worry about it." All that I do and have revolves around Sam and don't get me wrong I love Sam and am his biggest supporter and cheerleader, but what about mom/wife? When do I get a turn? When I was in college I always felt like I had a cheering section and now no one is in the stands. (Of course there are my girls but it would be nice if it came from the fam)
