My dream

(disclaimer: this definitely has holes in it because I was not sure how to write every detail without turning it into a script.) My dream.  So we are on our way to a wedding and for whatever reason I have to drive with Steve. He starts to talk to me about my goals and how I should not be afraid to take the leap of faith to find a new job and do sales because he thinks I will be really good at it. We talk for the whole ride and when we arrive he tells me to find you and tell you what my ideas are for the future. I told him you would not be too happy about me talking to him because you hate that I can be honest and open with people. He says to go anyway and that he can set up an interview for me with his wife's job and you with him at the bank. When I get to you and tell you the good news you get upset with me and yell at me for talking to Steve. I try to tell you that I didn't say anything about you and your issues with faith and doing this outside of your understanding but you were pissed anyway. You told me I was making it seem like Steve is better than you and that I was having a "whole lot of conversation with Steve" Now we are at the reception and I am sad because you are not talking to me. You are cold and just plane mean. Knowing I know no one at the wedding and you just fussed at me for talking to Steve and being myself, I felt like I could not have fun. When I excused myself from the waiting area before the reception you were talking to a female friend of yours from college. I didn't pay it any mind and continued to the restroom.  When I returned I had my camera phone out and was getting ready to take a pic of you when I spotted you give this girl a kiss on the lips. I snapped the pic and tried to shrug it off. Maybe it was the cheek and I thought it was the lip maybe you came in wrong and it was an accident. The kiss did t last long it was a peck.  Thirty minutes or so later I see you walk off not too long after her so I decide to investigate. You are actually hugged up with her in some little corner laughing and being carefree. (something you never are at home). This time I decide to take video and play it cool because I do not want to ruin the brides big day.  Some how after we left Steve's wife got a hold of my phone and saw what you had done. She approached me about it and was very angry and said he would have Steve speak with you because she didn't want you working for his company and she understands if I no longer want to move to Texas.  I get home and you are on the couch watching sports center and explain that I need to talk to you and proceed to tell you about the wedding. You didn't seem to care. You said I shouldn't have been talking to Steve as if I wanted him and that I was to blame because of my past. You told me you had been with two other women as well and that it is what it is. I am of course screaming at you and cussing and carrying on but you are just playing it cool. You decide to laugh about it and go into detail about home girl 1&2 were doing things that I don't do anymore and that you were really getting it in with them. There are so many things i want to say but I can't. I want to tell you how you suck in bed and I know you are lying about pleasing any of these girls. I want to tell you it is cool cause two can play that game and all it takes is a phone call. But then you hit me with the big one "and I went in raw dog so you better get checked out hahaha". So cold that tears stream down my face and Same runs down the steps and outside crying "oh god mommy is going to die". Then I wake up.  It is 6:40am and I have been typing this on my phone for a while. We have been traveling for a few days and have had some long nights hanging out so I am definitely tired but I cannot go back to sleep because unfortunately I can finish dreams.  I am not sure why but if I wake up in the middle of a dream and go back to sleep I automatically go back to that dream. Right now you are laying next to me sleeping peacefully but I am in pain. I know it was a dream but it was not fuzzy, I remember it all and it sucked. I needed to write it down to clear my mind of it hopefully. I won't be going back to sleep but maybe tomorrow will be better.