Follow up

She said ultrasound results didn't show any collection in a particular place just fluid build up all around. She said let it take it's course, loose weight, see you in three months.

How can I loose in three months? A lot if I stay the course. My biggest challenge to help defeat my most annoying problem. I feel like I can't do it on my own but I have an inspiring mother (lost 77lbs) and great friends. Now I just have to get my husband on board. The cheesesteak stroboli man with cheese fries and Chinese food abc mcdonalds and Wendy's. Hard to eat right when the people around you are not on the same page. I guess what he does should not matter. I brought my sneakers so I can work out while Sam is at practice so that's good. And I guess I'll walk back to work inspire of the sweat pain. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Gotta keep my head up and press on. This is the day that the Lord had made. GOTTA REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!! despite how I feel.

On my way to yet another doctors appointment. I wonder what she'll say today. "well you need to loose weight, this isnot uncommon, just let it do what it wants to do." I don't want to hear any of those things today. I want to hear "I was doing so research and I think it may be (fill in blank). Here is what I think we need to do to stop the problem."

Could things be worse? Of course they could. They could have found cancer or something else terrible. Instead I just play the guessing game. Better than cancer right? If course it is. But for some reason that doesn't make me feel better. Instead sometimes I can't walk down the steer and sweat cause it feels like my boob is on fire. It hurts when I hit a pothole or crack in the ground when I drive. And just when I think it will make me completely crazy, my wound opens and leaks some yellow and red substance. Yeah it releaves the pressure but it is gross and embarrassing. God forbid I don't wear the right bra and the mess gets on my shirt. Or like Saturday morning I wake up with it all over the sheet right as I am about to get my freak on, which already doesn't happen enough (probably my fault. Hurting boobs and my other medical issues doesn't always put me in the mood). Anyway needlesstosay I didn't get my freak on and just cried instead.

Well I am walking there now and sweat is bothering me. I think I'll catch the bus the rest of the way. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck. Better yet pray for me. I don't believe in luck.