Random thoughts

I woke up realizing today was a new day and it is time to think positive. I seem to be in a much better mood today which is a good thing. Yesterday was cool. I ordered out becuase my wrist was killing me all day and I just couldn't cook feeling that way. I got home and watched TV with Sam after reviewing his homework and going over his reading. I chilled on the couch, watched America's Next Top Model and America's Got Talent. I want the guys that play the violin to win. They are inspiring to the young people and they play my instrument. Making the violin cool is hard for many to do and they have mastered it. If I knew I could make my violin sound like that I would not have stopped playing it. I am glad to be alive, glad to not have another bad dreaam. Blessed in knowing that my family loves me even though they may not express it the way I want them to. I know I am missed when I am gone and that everyone loves my cooking. Jake is no exception. I know he cares and that he wants what is best for me and Sam. Sometimes it is hard to see over the mountains we climb, and often we think we will never get down or even reach the peak. Life is an uphill climb where we learn so much about ourselves. We learn the things we can handle and not handle. We learn what we like and hate and we learn that we cannot possible climb our mountains on our own. In the midst of my complaining I am learning a lot about me. I think out of all the tests and trials I have been through it is important for me to remember that I am not in this by myself and that all of life is a learning experience. I have to make the best of it. Where I am right now is where I am supposed to be. When I have learned what I am supposed to, I will move on to another phase in life. I hope the people reading my blog do not feel sorry for me. That is not why I write. I write because I know I am not alone in this and if I can help somone else realize they are not alone then I have done a great service to society. This is the best therapy anyone could get. Writing what you think no matter how ridiculous and never deleting is great. Sometimes I finish a daily blog and want to delete it because I realize I am being silly. Instead of deleting I try to adjust at home. I am a very emotional person and I know it shows in my writing. My life is good, no matter how many negative blogs I write. I pay my bills with no problem. No one is calling for late payments. Jake makes sure we have what we need. Sam is happy. Playstation, DS, not too much but just enough. Cable, new house, new pots, great friends. I have a good life. I am closer to my mom then I have ever been. I love my mother-in-law. I may not like my job but I have been blessed to work for three wonderful guys. They all have their moments but it could be worse. I know God has a plan for my life. I am glad that I am saved and that He knows and loves me. It is comforting to know that the Lord is with me through it all. I don't know how other people get through it without Him. Try Him. Fred Hammond sings a song called "A Song of Stength" that has been an encouragment to me. I am listening to it right now. I hope the words encourage you as they have encouraged me....

What do you do
When the life you've planned is shattered
What do you say
When the one you love is gone
How do you live
When there’s no hope for tomorrow
Pain doesn't care where you live or who you are

(Chorus)
Lord You see my life is broken
And I don't know what to do
While I'm in this change, help me remain
I can count on You, oh, oh
When I can't see, I know You'll guide
When I cry out, I know You feel
Now I'm praying, I know You hear
Praying for healing, I know You will

Who do you call
When no one has the answer
Where do you go
When the place you've know is no more
When will it end
All the tears they just keep falling
Pain doesn't care where you live or who you are

(Channel)
We ask you to forgive
And we will do the same
We receive Your love
Lord we'll take time to heal

(Vamp)
Hold on and wait just a little while
He'll bring a song of strength in the midnight
Touch our lives with Your loving Hand
Hold on, we'll hold on

Hold on don’t you ever let go let My Jesus lead
I guarantee he knows
When the road is rough, the going gets tough
The hills are hard to climb
Looking for peace of mind

I Can do all things through Him
He has your back

Hold on don’t you ever let go let My Jesus lead
I guarantee he knows
When the road is rough, the going gets tough
The hills are hard to climb
Looking for peace of mind