Sunday, January 4, 2009

Still the same

I am still tired and frustrated with the current situation. I wonder if things will change this year or if I will still be writing the same bullshit next year. I wish I could turn back the clock and do it all over again. I would definitely do thins a lot differently that time around. I would be with someone who was different maybe a little more like me. Maybe someone I had some more things in common with. It is a little early and I am going to take my shower and go to bed. I have been on vacation with him for almost two weeks and I am looking forward to going back to work.

Everyone takes the time out during this time of year to make resolutions about what they are going to do to make life easier or more manageable. People want to loose weight and get new jobs but all I want this year is a closer relationship with God and to maybe just begin to like my husband a little bit. I would love to loose weight but I say that every year and I never accomplish it. I would love to make lots of money or get a new kitchen but I know that is not going to happen either. I will go for maybe a dinning room set and good I sex.

I went to see my best friend over my vacation and I came back even more upset that I had been before. Seeing two people get along the way she and her husband do was hard for me. I knew that she had finally gotten what she wanted but I felt a tinge of jealousy. She reads this and I know she knows I am not a jealous person. I want her to have the worldand she knows that so please do not pass judgement on me. I think I am worthy of happiness but maybe I am not. I have been many places and done many things and maybe this life that I have now, not the worst by far, but maybe this is the way it is and will always be.

I am filled with words but I do not feel like typing anymore.

Goodnight.

PS To my three readers, I hope you enjoyed your vacation.

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